What really does work to increase the feeling
of having a home and its comforts is housekeeping.
When I first read this in Cheryl Mendelson's book Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House, I wasn't sure I liked it. I love coming home, making home, being at home. But cleaning my home?
I had been pondering this concept for a few days, when the following happened: While helping me clean the windows, I heard one of my girls say I love this place as she scrubbed happily away. I think for her, especially being in a new place she is supposed to call home, taking care of it with her own little hands gave her a sense of belonging.A sense of home.
The man thinks so too, although he explains it differently. Yes, I am married to one of those men who enjoys cleaning. Attention: I did not say he cleans. I said he enjoys cleaning. He is usually too busy hunting in the wild and bringing home the bacon to actually clean. But he recently spent some time at home alone and when I returned, the house was fresh: floors swept, counters wiped, things stacked in general neatness.
I looked at him when I walked in the door and this is what he said: "It's been good to clean this afternoon. I feel like I've spent some time with the house and I'm getting to know it a bit." I was so touched by his sentiment that I didn't have the heart to correct him. Her, I said under my breath...you are getting to know HER a bit. I hope she wasn't offended.
What about you? Do you find that the act of cleaning your house gives you a greater sense of home and comfort? I know that most people would say a clean house does this for them, but what about the actual act of cleaning it?
45 comments:
I love that book! I thought I was one of the few "weird ones" that actually owned a copy, and enjoyed it!! One of the things that I like most about it is that she talks more about "keeping" house, than "cleaning" house. When I started thinking of my chores around the house as less of a drudgery and more of a way to provide comfort, ease, health of environment, and pleasure to my family, my whole attitude changed toward those chores. I would LIKE to say that scrubbing toilets became an act of love, but it didn't go quite that far. But I resented it less, and appreciated the home more, and appreciated more what our home provided for our family: shelter, a place for us to be together, to enjoy ourselves, to make memories. I think that viewing it as house KEEPING vs house CLEANING has helped transform our shelter into an abode, from a house into our home. And it's been great with my oldest child to help her build a sense of self, a sense of enviornment, a sense that we need to take care of what we have, and participate in keeping our home neat and tidy and pleasant. Thanks for this post!
Cheryl Mendelson's right, I think houses feel more home-like when they're clean and tidy, but mine isn't that way.
I think I hate my house right now and think it has too many things wrong with it to be worth keeping clean and beautiful, but maybe I'll have to give it a little love tomorrow to make it feel housing a circus worthwhile. Yeah, my house is an 'it' still. Or--I just decided--she's a stubborn lass.
Cleaning my house is my therapy or it was before I became addicted to blogging.;) No, really cleaning is my therapy. Especially when I vacuum. Something about seeing the lines the vacuum leaves on my carpet makes me believe my life is in order and all is well. My day can be horrible but as soon as I vacuum all is well. I don't know if it's the mindlessness of it or the loud hum the vacuum makes but it brings me peace. Much like knowing God is always present. I am a part of His house and only He can make my soul clean, shiny and new again. It would be interesting to get His take on a clean house wouldn't it?
I love, love, love a clean and tidy house. But I've usually got so many irons in the fire, so to speak, that it really gets out of hand. Then for me cleaning becomes such a overwhelming chore. I put it off even longer until I'm forced to clean because company is coming! I wish I liked it more.
I just put the book on hold at the library.
I really enjoyed this post. It made me think. I need to enjoy the process more. I sometimes feel like all I do is pickup and clean all day, but I need to think more in lines of making our home a better place for the family.
My favorite cleaning times are when the whole family works together and we make it shine together.
OMG - I have owned this book for a few years now, and just picked it up two days ago as a nice light read. I love how inspiring it is - and FILLED with information.
Great post!!
I love cleaning house, I could watch someone doing it all day! lol Actually, I do like cleaning as long as I am home alone, can concentrate on what I am doing with no interruptions and am in the right frame of mind. The day to day stuff? Not so much, too many other things to do and I am an artist which makes a mess! You can't create without spreading your creative junk everywhere, at least I can't. I am starting to get inspired to do a major cleaning though. Your daughters are so precious, I wish mine were still that age!
Yes and no.
I actually like to clean and organize....because I'm weird like that. There are times I just don't feel like it....like when there's a mountain of laundry...etc. But when I'm in the "zone" ...look out.
My hubby is a lot like me. We both like a clean house...and feel a sense of accomplishment/ attachement after we've finished a project.
My kids....not so much. They are the opposite! They are much more into the mess making!!!! :)
I love to clean! There is much instant gratification even in the smallest of chores. And I love cleaning supplies. In fact, my love of them makes me a terrible grocery shopper....all cleaning supplies and nothing we actually need to prepare meals.
The caffeine from my coffee has not even kicked in yet, so while reading about cleaning...you can just imagine how my tired eyes have glazed over, lol ;)
Like others, I LOVE a clean home, but I am not an enthusiastic cleaner...unless I get on a mission or if my hubby is helping...those are the best productive cleaning days, the ones we do as a team :)
Wow, I really need to see if my library has that book! I need a good swift kick in the pants as far as cleaning goes! I have to say that your post has started me thinking about housekeeping in a new way.
I do like to clean when I don't have anyone else in the house which is so rare. I used to tell my husband that it relaxed me. It doesn't anymore because my kids are around when I do it and I either feel guilty spending all that time doing something that needs to be done instead of playing with them or they are coming behind me making another mess. But I do love a clean and tidy house. My world isn't right if it isn't that way...Crazy I know.
It depends on my mood! :) I tend to feel very domestic (a good thing) when I clean and always feel a sense of accomplishment when I do. It seems like the hardest part is getting started (I like to procrastinate housecleaning). Once I get going I am always glad I did and it always takes less time than I thought!
My husband too likes to clean. And on the weekends will many times do things like mopping the floor WITHOUT BEING ASKED. He is a wonderful man!
I may have to pick up that book - sounds interesting!
I love to clean, just not the bathrooms; especially the tub and toilet YUCK!. It gives me a sense of accomplishment (since I'm so task oriented) but also a feeling of ownership and pride in taking care of the things that mean the most to me. I don't want my house to be a museum, but someplace where someone can come in and feel comfortable enough to take their shoes off.
Hmmm... maybe a different day I would have entertained the thought of being sentimental here and remembering the one or two days that I actually bonded with the carpets while extracting dried play dough or something of the like, but today? Today, not so much.
You see, today is cleaning day. And I don't want it to be. I'd much rather it be "sleeping day" or "watch a movie day" or "chick fil a milkshake day". But alas - I must clean.
Maybe I'll try to make it a personal experience between me and the house now, though it might be tough - she knows the hard feelings I have for her...
[sigh] So much baggage for such a short little relationship. I'm thankful for her, but I don't think I appreciate her. Maybe some heartfelt cleaning is exactly what we need...
...or maybe just that milkshake will do...
In Him,
Sam
I need to teach my man to like cleaning the house.
What is "her" name?
I don't mind cleaning, and love a fresh, spotless house....my Dh loves to clean as well. Must be the military in them? HE cracks me up though...will "clean" the whole house, but not the toilets and will leave a few dishes in the sink!But say he cleaned the whole house.... To me, the house is not "clean" then. LOL!
I should pick that book up at the library...
I enjoy cleaning my house - spending the precious moments it takes to make everything just right and comfortable. In fact, when i feel like I have to quickly sweep over everything to get by, it almost makes me more aggitated than when it was messy. I feel happy and at home when everything is clean and kept up.
Interesting how so many of us feel this way, huh?
Emily, via the Nester's sidebar recommendation, I have recently been turned on to the FlyLady (flylady.net). Our house has changed so much in one month that the past two nights I found myself with so little to do around the house that I sat down and read a book! This is amazing, as I have always wondered what magical time other people had to actually READ...Everyone should check this site out for encouragement and tips on small daily routines that make a world of difference.
It sounds like I am not alone when I say I must be in the "mood" to clean. Once I get going it's hard to stop, and it's easier to get going when I am so hyped up on caffeine I don't know what to do with all of my energy.
I just bought my first house in April. Funny that you posted this today because I just had one of my cleaning spurts last night...
You're right. There is a sense of accomplishment that comes with caring for something that is truly YOURS. It makes it feel more like yours. It makes you feel like it's a part of you. That whole "blood, sweat and tears" idea. Powerful stuff.
Blessings :)
What I great way to look at your home! I totally agree, taking care of your home creates pride, a sense of ownership and a genuine love of "Her". Well said! And I love what your man said. My hubby also enjoys cleaning and I think it is b/c he travels so much and when he is home he likes to connect. Thanks for sharing.
I like "keeping" my home for me and for my family. I love it when it is all tidy, but with 5 kids still at home that is not always the case!
I do like to make our home a warm, welcoming place, and Keeping it is part of that.
There is great satisfaction in seeing it "put right".
I LOVE a clean house, I just don't generally enjoy the process of cleaning. I find that it helps if I play praise music whilst I clean - I feel more motivated. I also made a cleaning chart where I would only do one big thing per day in addition to (washing dishes and making the bed). It seemed to help for a while and that way I didn't have to set aside a bunch of time (I don't have) to clean the entire house. Right now, I have kind of ignored the chart thanks to the blogging addiction. I chalk it up to just taking the summer off. My house is still fairly clean though.
What a great post! I love what you hubby said! Tooooo CUTE!!!! Mr. "S" really likes to clean! I'm so THANKFUL too! lol
I just wanted to stop by and say hi! I came over from Leigh's blog! I love love love love what she posted about you! I love the pics of your house and what you have done with it! WOW!!!!!!!!! I wished you were near me...I would sooooooooooooooooo have you come over and give me ideas on our lake house!!!!!
I love your house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The one room I absolutely dread cleaning is the bathroom. I love the feeling of a clean home, you know where you see the vacuum marks on the carpet and you have that fresh lemon Pine-Sol smell. It is a sense of accomplishment knowing I've gotten a job done. I don't ever want my home to not feel lived though because I'm too concerned about how it looks. I want people to come into my home and have fun and feel loved when they are there... clean or not.
I don't mind cleaning if I am alone. I don't really want to have fun with my husband and clean. He says it goes by faster if we do it together, but what happens is he stops me every 5 minutes and asks me where to put stuff. Or if he cleans he throws out my Michaels 25% off the total purchase coupon that I had been saving and then I can't find it even though I went through the trash. Yuck.
Me and my iPod, Sophie. Now that's when it gets clean. And my dogs get entertained when I dance.
What a great quote from the man. Cleaning...oh, it evokes so many thoughts on so many levels. Too many to even begin typing...hee hee."nuff said.":)
I LOVE cleaning! Not any particular aspect of it (except vaccuming--love that!), but just the cycle of creating an orderly, tidy place for everyone to hang out. It's a nice way to fill my day and keep me humble!
I also have that book! I get inspired every time (ok, once a year) when I pick it up but I just love the idea of it. I could relate to what a lot of your other commenters said. I love to clean when I'm in the zone and I can get totally wrapped up in it. But I hate it when I have just enough time to get started and then get interrupted every five minutes or start feeling guilty because my daughter is spending hours in front of the tv while I'm hard at work. I tend to be an all or nothing person when it comes to having a clean house so if I don't have time to do it all perfectly, I just keep letting it go until someone is coming over and I freak out for a good 24 hours trying to get it all done. Sorry, I really don't mean to make this a novel, but haven't you mentioned the Flylady here before? Do you like her method? My friend just got her book so I'm curious to see how that goes....
I love my house and I prefer that it be clean, but i HATE to clean it!
Hi there!
My name is Denise, and I am a new reader of your blog! I discovered it after finding your sister's blog! You both are terrific, and I love your blogs, advice, and homes!!!
I too love a clean home, and for years was crazy about keeping it "just so" and feeling frustrated when it was hard to keep up. So, NOW what I do...is everytime I go to the grocery store, and pay with debit, I take out an extra $20. This is for my cleaning fund, and after three weeks I have enough for my house to be professionally cleaned! :-)
I used to feel guilty having a cleaning lady come in once a month, but then I was so happy and relieved that I went to every other week...BUT, there is still plenty to do...between laundry, groceries, taking care of the kiddos', meal prep, etc...I don't feel guilty one bit...now I love coming home to the house smelling wonderful, and the kids and I have more time together! They still have chores, and responsibilities, but now none of us have to worry about the cleaning the oven, bath tubs, etc...
So just a thought for your readers who need a break...think about a house cleaner...you won't regret it!
Thanks for sharing your blog and thoughts with us!
SMILES!!!
Denise in Colorado Ü
I'm one of those strange people who actually thinks vacuuming and doing laundry is therapy. I think because I put so much energy and thought into "fluffing our nest" it gives me a sense of calm to know that it is clean as well. Notice I didn't say orderly, just clean...smile! My 2 year old even has a child size Hoover and we vacuum together every day. I've even caught him with a wet wipe cleaning the windows or glass doors. He loves to help. It's very rewarding to think that I've set a good example for him.
-Hayley
I have really enjoyed your blog since I discovered several weeks ago through your sister's blog. Would it be alright if I put a link to your blog on my blog? I am just starting and I would love to add some interest to mine and your's would be great. Check me out at https://sheilahb.blogspot.com
or The Empty Nester
Wow. I love a clean house. And I love my house. She has no name. But she's a she. Cuz over the years we've blinged her up with our new door and new baths and new cabinets and new...well, everything. And no self-respecting male house is going to allow that much bling. Although maybe she's a he because the she would want all kinds of grown-up decorations and the man house would want sturdy walls and handsome floors...
Cleaning? Is that your topic?
I can't believe how many people love cleaning. I just don't. I love it to be clean, I'd just rather hire someone else to do it. But I'd REALLY rather use the cash for a coffee drink, so there you go.
My husband keeps it clean.
I *heart* him.
I think I'll look for that book.
(really, I do the cleaning. But it was fun to write that...)
I hate cleaning, but I feel so much better when I do because I just love the way it looks and I feel better about having people over. I try to keep to a schedule of doing a little bit everyday to keep it nice and neat. It also doesn't help when all your friends are neat freaks and have immaculate houses 95% of the time!
The only time my husband cleans is when he can also rearrange furniture!! Usually this does not involve telling me he is going to move the furniture!!
Uh, am I the only freak out there who doesn't like cleaning? I like a clean house, and I love to organize, but I would rather not enjoy cleaning my son's toilet. If my husband is cleaning with me, it's less un-enjoyable. I love the final product of cleaning, but I don't think I can go so far as to say I like it. Please don't come after me with torches and pitch forks--or in this case, spray bottles and brooms.
I struggle with the cleaning thing. I look around, and I know that I should do a deep cleaning, but then there are other things that get in the way, and it ends up not happening. I am generally picking up, and making sure that there isn't a mess all over the place, but it is more a topical clean, rather than a full fledge purification clean. When it does happen though, I feel like the whole house feels lighter, and brighter somehow. Wouldn't it be nice to be like Mary Poppins and just snap your fingers and all the toys, shoes, dishes, etc. would just magically float back to their designated place? Ahh, we can dream.
I feel after 3 years I am still learning secrets about my house. There is still that accomplished happiness I get when my house is in order.
While I don't like the thought of housecleaning (like exercise), once I actually start and accomplish something, I feel great.
It gives me a sense of ownership and delight.
I, too, have a husband that actually enjoys cleaning. More of a laundry, pick up the toys kind of guy, but I'll take it!!!
Emily you make me laugh! Hmmmm, I'm not sure how I feel about this. I do know that I feel very very happy when the place is clean. And I do think more positively about the house in general.
I don't love cleaning, but I love the results! :)
I would have to say "yes" cleaning does give me the feeling of actually being home and all that it means. I love my husband's reaction to my taking time to make our home spectacular... and yes, I'm married to a man who likes cleaning (and going to shopping, too--beat that!). It's like what your husband said, it's like getting to know "her" a bit... I like knowing my home.
Yes I do. Putting things in order, freshening things up, spraying some nice lavender....plumping the cushions, looking after it....
I can't say that I enjoy cleaning, but I like the way it feels when it is all done.
What a sweet pic and post. My girls love to help as well. So what if they waste a whole bottle of Windex! They are proud they contribute. I am too.
Congrats on making the SITS blogroll this week!
I know I'm two weeks late to this post, but I still have something to say (shocker!) I followed FlyLady a few years ago and I have never forgotten one of her phrases "Housework done incorrectly still blesses my family."
I used to get overwhelmed by the amount of cleaning needed to keep a house looking presentable. My perfectionism of wanting to do it all kept me from doing any of it at times. I slowly gave that up and now I do certain things on certain days. For example, laundry is Monday and Friday only, unless a medical emergency comes up and we need more than the 500 pairs of clean underwear we have to get us through to laundry day. It has freed me up to do other things than fighting daily to keep up with laundry, what a relief.
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