I'm half-asleep in my bed this morning when I hear the pitter-patter on my hardwood floors. It's my girls coming to wake me up. And they want something.
"Mommy," says the soft voice in my face, "will you put this on her?"
She is holding a Polly Pocket in one hand and a pink shirt in the other. I grab the doll and begin the process of forcing the rubber clothes on her without opening my eyes. But something isn't right. What's going on? Have Polly's hips...gotten wider?I finally managed to stuff her new curves into the pink outfit (we women know how to stuff the curves). Then I opened my eyes, and I saw this. This is no Polly, people. This is a genuine 1982 gal of glamour. Better known as simply, a Glamour Gal. She is one of three that I have leftover from the early 80s. I don't know what happened to the rest of them. Or the ocean liner that went with them. Somehow in all the unpacking, she has turned up.
Welcome to the 21st century, Glamour Gal.
This chick has all the Polly doctors scratching their heads. Why, you ask? Check her out.She is a Polly of unbelievable proportions. An Amazon Polly. A Pituitary Polly Giant. She's HUGE. Yet, not. Take her neck and hands for example, as shown here.
That long, delicate neck makes all the other Polly's look like Rachel Ray. And her hands are so small, those Polly mittens would fall right off. She is tall with wide hips and an over-sized bust, but her waist is tiny and her little nub feet...they wouldn't support her on the moon, much less here with all this gravity. Time has not looked kindly upon her hair, but she has somehow managed to keep her youthful figure.
These Polly's may have smiles on there faces, but don't let that fool you. They are not one bit happy about this Gal being around, stuffing her curvy self into their Polly clothes. They won't even look at her. All the attention the Pollyrazzi have been giving her is bringing out the worst in them. And that reality show gig she's been offered may be the last straw.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
unpacking treasure #3
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29 comments:
I'm glad I wasn't stuffing my face with anything, because it would now be all over my computer.
too funny.
xo ~K
I love how the two on either side of her are actually rolling their eyes!
comic genius in your own right my dear....the part about rachel ray's hands took me over the edge.
You are so silly!
What do your kids think you are doing when you line up all of their dolls and take pictures? Do they ask questions or just play along? You must be such a fun mom!
Have you seen GI Joe's feet? They are huge. When my 15 year old son turned 12 and was in a size 10 shoe I started calling him GI Joe, and he calls me Barbie feet. I have size 5 1/2 feet. It has become a "thing" just between us. I now call my 11 year old daughter clown feet. She is in a size 71/2. She is still smaller than me but her feet have passed me so I pick on her and tell her that I am still bigger except for her huge gigantic clown feet. It has become our "thing"
Oh how I am laughing out loud right now. Hoo hoo hoo! Ha ha ha!!! I needed that!
She really is an amazon woman!
Welcome to the 21st century glamour gal.....we all wear rubber clothes :)!
And Rachael Ray really does have no neck and huge hands, doesn't she :)?!
very,very funny. I love the visuals you've included too, it made me laugh out loud! :)
She looks pretty darn good in that mini skirt, doesn't she?
They. hate. her.
~Karin
=)
Your blog is candy for the brain.
Now if I can just figure out how to get the ginger peach tea out of my nightie.
It would have been fun to be a kid with you in the neighborhood. I'm glad you're at least in blogland!
G'night.
I'm hoping the glamor gal kicks polly's patootie. that chick leaves her tiny little clothes all.over.my.house.
tee hee
Too awesome...Amazon Polly. And you know, Rachel Ray does have a stocky neck. Kudos on actually taking pictures too...full points!
You are hilarious!
Cute post! Thanks for the chuckle!
Too, too funny! :)
I am CRACKING up! "Pituitary Polly Giant!" That is great! You know what you just reminded me of? I had this Barbie that was probably 2 feet tall and she was a beauty! She was a "special editition" and I remember wanting her soooo badly! The Pollies would REALLY be jealous to be around her! Wonder where that old gal is????
The polly's. Yeah, I don't like them so much. Their stupid clothes are too hard for my little girl to put on!
You are too, too much. Please tell me that treasure #4 is Jem and the Holograms...remember them? Jem, Jem is adventure, oo-oo Jem, Jem is excitement, oo-oo, glamour and glitter, fashion and gold...JEM!
I remember Jem. I LOVED her and all of her Holograms. I was talking about her a couple weeks ago at church and only received blank stares.
Now, Gal, is the friend we all love to hate. She looks hot in something I would look crammed into. At least I have better hair than her.
Oh my gosh this is hilarious! So true, all the guys are gonna want glamour girl. She better watch her back...those polly's are gonna form an alliance and vote her out of your daughters toy chest...but I suppose if she's been around this long...
ps I love the Rachel Ray comparison!!
This post is sooo hilarious!! The "Pollyrazzi", ROFL!
The Rachel Ray comment was awesome! I don't remember Glamour Girl but I do remember the fake Barbies with the hollow bodies, lol.
Well...atleast the Pollys have neater hair than her. Glamour Gal has more realistic looking hair however...
very funny post :)
You make me laugh. Always...
Elise
Truly the best I've read all day...huh-larious.
Rachel Ray.
Actually laughed out loud.
You need to write for TV girl! Great stuff! Thanks for giving me a new insight on my daughter's toys!! God bless. Beth
You are such a talented writer. I am in awe. I loved this comedic little post. And the pollyrazzi.
Your treasure hunting stories are hilarious. Thanks!
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