Today I'm going to take advantage of you. Because you are reading and available and oh-so-willing.
I recently posted about going to my sister's house when the man was out of town. I also mentioned the fact that I'm more than a little nervous when I have to stay by myself. Sometimes I feel so childish for always begging my mom to drive 2 hours to come stay with me and keep me safe (all 5 foot 2 inches of her). Reading some of your comments from that post, I was so glad to discover that you are scaredy cats too (some of you with good reason...yikes, Jennifer P)! So what I want to know is, do you have a plan?
I have a plan that always involves the house phone on the table next to my bed and my cell phone on the pillow next to me (in case the killer cuts the house phone wire). Before kids, my plan was to sleep with my bedroom door locked and, if I heard a killer, to grab a phone, run to the closet, climb in the attic and call the police. But we've moved so our attic entrance is no longer in the closet. And now I have all these kids so climbing in the attic alone would just be wrong.
So I have a new the-killer's-in-the-house plan. I can't tell you the details though because, well...you know. You might be a killer.
And while I'm at it, maybe you could help me out in some other potentially it's-normal-to-me-but-I-might-be-a-freak situations:
1. When you were a kid, did you think it was ok to pee in the pool?I'd love to hear your thoughts on these. I have tons more, but I thought I would start small...work my way up to the "words I hate" list and the underwear issues.
Ok, so IT'S NOT, right? Because I never did, but a few summers ago, I realized many of my dear, normal and respectable friends would go in the corner and...pee. And they thought it was totally ok. Shocking.
2. Do you time yourself when you go to the grocery store?
When I go into the grocery store, I look at the clock and predict what time I will be leaving. If I'm right, I win!
3. And it's not about me, but I've really been wondering: Does my son have unusually large feet, or does it just seem that way to me? He is 21 months old and he wears a size 8...comfortably. As in, he'll probably be in a 9 this summer. Is that normal?
28 comments:
I didn't get in on the staying-home-alone post...somehow I missed that one. I am a military wife, so I end up being on my own more than I really care to think about. Usually the first day or so are the worst...I actually got into a really bad habit when hubby was deployed of watching Cold Case Files every night before I double-locked every door, checked the windows, looked in on the kids, and crawled into bed with the phones next to me...yeah, that wasn't so smart.
Now that I've wisened up some, I still keep the phone within reach...because hubby has this insane habit of calling me in the middle of the night while he's gone...oh, and my TV habits have changed...now I watch HGTV until my eyes won't stay opened any longer...and sometimes leave it on all night, because you know those bad guys really won't come into the house when there's noise and TV lights on....
Hi Em,
I love your blog and can just HEAR you talk as I read it! I miss seeing you so often!
The Killer Plan- I haven't really thought about that one since we got married since I am usually the one who leaves for nights to see grandma, the occasional pre-gray slumber party, nights with the nephew, etc. However, I must start thinking about it because we live way out in the boon docks all by ourselves and the killer could have me buried where I'd never been found again before it took anyone time to notice I was gone.
We have a dog, named Happy, but when strangers appear, he turns into Angry, or Meanie. He always, always stays in the house with me when L. has to leave in the evenings. He'd protect me, or at least tear up the bad guy while I ran 1/4 mile to a neighbor.
On peeing in the pool- no way in a pool but yes in a river, lake, or ocean. Nowdays, they have a chemical in the pool that turns a bright red or blue to attract attention to you if you did the deed, so be sure to watch the colored cloud form around your peeing friends this summer.
And yes, I DO time myself at the grocery store. I'm glad I'm not alone.
I can't wait to read underwear issues...those were involved in my new year's resolution this year!
Sarah
One question...what do you win if you are right at the grocery store? I mean, I have this thing about doughnuts at Walmart...they are really good...and I ALWAYS want to reward myself with one, ok two, of them for getting out quick!
This is my first time to comment on your blog. I stumbled across it...somehow , don't remember..anyway, I am enjoying reading your posts. Iz is singing right now, love his music! When we were in Hawai several years ago, we bought several of his CDs...they are all great!
I used to be a really scaredy cat being home aone, not so bad now. But, I still do not like it. I usually take my cell and house phone in bed, too. Before going to bed, I pull something in front of the door that would fall over and make a loud noise if the door was opened. I have a dog that is very good if he sees a stranger...I mean he's bad...barking and generally raising the roof! Trouble is, he doesn't hear so well anymore. he's 14 now. Sometimes I'll sleep on the couch just to be sure I can hear both doors!
Yes, I have peed in the pool. But, I just thought the chlorine ate it up or made it into pool water...I don't know. But, I do not do it anymore.
Nice chatting with you...please come for a visit at my blog, Gatherings. You're alwaays welcome.
Blessings,
Tonja
I'm not saying it's ok to pee in the pool, but I might be saying, that maybe yeah I've done it in my lifetime. And now maybe I've just grossed myself out. Here's a question for you. Is it okay to pee in the ocean?
Okay, I can't help you out with your killers. BUT, I know about big feet. My daughter turned 2 in September. She is currently 45 pounds and wears a 10.5 shoe. That's right...she is a big girl. I'm sure she will thin out one of these days...hopefully before puberty! ;)
I found your blog recently, not sure how, but I did. So, you're added to my reader. :)
Killer thing -- I think it's normal. But then, I could be a freak. I think about crazy stuff like that all the time, and I have a lot of time to deal with it. My husband is in the Navy and is gone a lot. We keep a baseball bat under the bed, he sleeps closest to the bedroom door. Since we've had Little Monster, we've moved and I haven't had time to revise my plan.
1. It is not okay to pee in the pool, although I did it a couple of times when I was a kid. Natural water (ocean, rivers, lakes) it is okay. Oh, and Mythbusters did some test on that chemical. It won't work, because the amount they would have to put in would burn your skin.
2. Inadvertantly yes. I time myself, and I get excited if it takes less than I thought it would. But I also shop at the Commissary, and you never know when the line is going to be 3 miles long.
3. My son seems to have very large feet as well. 15 months, and nearly in a size 7. He's also just giant all over. He's in 2T clothing already. I don't know if its normal though, just thought I'd tell you that maybe you weren't alone there.
Your blog is great! Like I said, you're in my Google Reader, so I pretty much read all the time now! (Now I sound like a freak.)
Oh my gosh, debbie...it's SO ok to pee in the ocean. Fish do. Sharks do. Its totally big enough.
And welcome Tonja! Glad to see you here...I LOVE the heavy thing in front of the door idea. Awesome! I'm gonna mosey on over to your blog because I don't have to make dinner or anything...
i don't do any of those things. i guess i am NOT A FREAK! i'm sure i do other freaky things though.
My just 20-month old wears a size 10; my 3-year old daughter wears a size 12; and my 4-year old son wears a size 1. So who knows what's normal! LOL My thoughts are, though, that he (and they) have REALLY huge feet!
...or how about spoons!!!
but guess what, I play the "guess how long it will take in the grocery store" game. I have definitely won several times too!
Oh yeah, I always have a murderer plan. But like you said--not divulging it here!
1. I didn't think it was okay; in fact, I knew I shouldn't. But I did it anyway because it was a heck of a lot easier than wrangling myself out of and back into a wet suit.
2. Almost always. Also, when we're on a road trip, I try to guess the time we'll be home and if I'm within 5 minutes I give myself a good ol' pat on the back.
3. No clue.
I do not have a murderer in the house plan...I figure if Jesus wants to take me via a murderer in our house I would rather be with Him anyway, and hopefully he will take my whole family at once. I bet if a murderer did come in our house I would wish I had thought of a plan...maybe I will reconsider. No, nope, I will just leave that one to God. I can't come up with a good enough plan.
1. Yes, I went pee in the pool. I figured my eyes burned so bad from the chlorine it would kill anything scary, plus urine is sterile. Not that I endorse going pee in the pool, because I don't. It is gross if anyone else does it.
2. I don't time myself to the minute, but I do get excited when I get there and back in an hour or less.
3. My son is 23 months and wears a 5 1/2 and I wonder if his feet are too small...so who knows, 5 1/2 too small, 8 too big? Probably neither is true.
This is fun, can't wait to talk about underwear and words you hate!
1/ It's why I don't like pools :-(
2/ What! You don't time yourself doing everything? Well almost everything...... I believe I am a bit OCD that way.
3/ It's been too long since my kids were little....but I imagine he's perfectly fine......perhaps, it's like puppies and just means he will be a tall man.
I enjoy your blog....you make me smile ((hugs)) Rosie
1. Totally peed in the pool. No defense there.
2. Sorry to screw up your grocery store time on Monday. I'm sure you were thinking, "Dang it, Kendra, I only have 11 more minutes!" And, no, I don't time myself. I take my time at the store. I like food too much to rush... and I don't have kids.
3. I haven't noticed BL's feet and I know nothing about baby shoe sizes, but if you say they're big, I'll go along for the ride.
ok..i too, am a freak. L works 24 hour shifts, so I'm alone 10 times a month (or so..but who's counting :)). I leave the cordless on my night stand and the cell there as well. I have several escape plans and a few booby-trap type things throughout the house. We also live in the country and the police are a bit far away...so I'd call 911 and "smell smoke" that would get my guys (and yes, since L's the chief, they're "my guys" there pretty fast).
As for the pool. I knew it was wrong but on occasion I didn't feel like stopping and wrestling with my wet suit, because it never felt the same after hiking it back up after taking it off wet.
I've never played the time game at the grocery store but L and I play the guess who is closer to the amount game...
I worry that K is in the 90% for everything...girls should be dainty - right?
Again, I'm a freak.
okay, so i'm totally there with you on the plan- we'll have to compare notes very very soon... lets just say it definately involves a home phone and a cell phone... and a very big slobbery dog... oh yeah, and the protection of my Lord and Savior!
I absolutely need to hear more it's-normal-to-me-but-I-might-be-a-freak comments... those cracked me up, and made me think... it's not okay to pee in a pool, but ask anyone who goes boating in a lake, and they'll tell you it's very customary to pee in the lake - hey the fish, snakes, turtles, etc do...
as far as the grocery store - yesterday was the first time since Nathan was born that I went just me and baby, so no I didn't time myself, I praised myself for not using Lowes Food to go!
shoe size - well, my little man doesn't wear shoes, so I have nothing to compare it to, but honestly, I've noticed baby Luke's feet and they are really big! They're just solid platforms for the big strong man he'll become!
See you soon!
thanks for swinging by my blog... as one freak to the other, i can see we are going to get along just fine ;)
oh, the issues I have...
they WOULD make a freak feel normal!
so glad I'm not the only one who always worried about the phone line getting cut. Nowadays though, I wonder if a killer would even go through that since he figures you probably have a cell phone. I did discover that the panic button on my keychain will work from my bedroom--so I may not have a dog, but I can make my van horn go honk! honk! honk!. I also leave on lights, stereos, and appliances. Isn't being alone fun?!
I'm sure I've peed in a pool or two, but not that I can remember. I am prepared to pee on myself if I ever get stung by a jellyfish though!
I play the OPPOSITE of the grocery store timing game--it's more like, how long can I stay in here looking at magazines and beauty products. Well, if I get to go by myself that is :)! One of the only places I COMPLETELY loose track of time!
And I am a horrible Mom. I have no idea what size of shoes my kids wear. Seriously. I only buy them new shoes when they cry that their old ones are too tight or they get a hole. 4 boys X random numbers of pants, underwear, shirts, and shoes=too many random numbers for me to remember. I just take them with me and look at their tags as we go :)!
Thanks for making me feel like I'm not such a freak!!!
1. Yes, I did pee in the pool, but it was our pool. I never peed in a public one. I figured if it was in my backyard...then it must be ok. And I was 12.
2. I do not have a killer plan. I am ok when the hubby is out of town and sleep so much better without his SNORING. I am out like a light when he is out of town. And I have 2 BIGgish dogs that have big teeth that would scare any smart killer off. The dumb ones are really who I should worry about, I guess. I think my husband needs to worry about me, though. Who knows what a sleep deprived wife would do? Ha.
3. I don't time myself at the store. I really enjoy grocery shopping and am sometimes in there for a long time.
I have many other quirks though. I have separate hand and dish towels and never the twain shall meet. The toilet paper needs to come over the top of the roll and I will change it at your house too. Put your seat belt on in the driveway. Don't sneak candy into the movie theater (I don't care how much it costs, THEY HAVE A RULE). OK, enough admissions. Now you will think I am the freak.
your "stranger in the house" plan sounds alot like mine. having the phone right next to you on the bed side table... A MUST... and it must be one that is actually a land-line... not a cordless "what if the battery dies" kind!
in our other house i always knew which window we would quickly get out of... going over the plan in my mind a million times! the kids always sleep with me when hubby is gone! uhg... must they travel and leave us in such turmoil!
okay... did I EVER pee in the pool... probably! i can remember my parents would tell us that if someone peed it would turn blue & everyone would know what they just did!
i can not stand grocery shopping... the faster... the better! if i am by myself & it is Super Target... the longer the better!
big feet? my three year old daughter wears a 8/9 but she is itty bitty petite. i think he sounds great! boy... big feet... all good!
i think we are all kind of freaky! :)
My husband currently works out of town often. I have gotten used to it. I still do take my girls to sleep with me and lock the door. I check all windows and doors every night. I also have the cordless phone, a land line and my cell phone. I take my keys with me so I can set my van alarm off. I also have a baseball bat and a gun safe in the closet. A big black lab in the back yard makes me feel safer, too!
In my younger days I have been known to:
Stay up all night staring at the doors and windows.
Barricade bedroom door with a large dresser.
Pack up late at night and drive an hour to Grandma's house!
Yes. I always have a plan. I have a plan for home intruders, for when we drive off the bridge into the frozen river, for fire, flood, and every manner of attempted kidnapping. My twin sister and I even had danger code words when we were young (that I think would still work?) so this isn't a new thing. I guess we've been freaks for a while!
The bridge plan is gets trickier the more kids we have.
I'll be honest, my home intruder plan involves a gun, to my great relief - simplifies planning considerably! A gal's gotta do what a gal's gotta do. : )
I will start timing myself at the market for rewards! I'm usually watching a clock just because I have stuff to do but I like the treat idea!
No tainting of the pool from this freak. And my kids have smaller feet.
Your blog is so fun and so is your sister's! I'm still searching for the blue paci and I won't peek until I find it!
I remember the first time I peed someplace other than the toilet {and was old enough to know better} and I remember wondering why it didn't make that "ssssssssssssss" sound.
I thought that was what pee sounded like.
These comments are killer!
Yes, I'm a big old scaredy cat and have a plan, but like so many before me, can't divulge it here.
Yes, I peed in the pool as a kid. I admit it.
No, I don't time myself at the store, I'm one of those people who love to cruise aisles.
My soon to be 9 year old dd wears a women's size 9 shoe! Other than that, she's a little tall for her age, but that's it. I'm hoping she'll play in the WNBA.
Did I pee in the pool? Yep, just like a frog! But don't you think I was a callous pee-er...oh, no. My sisters and I knew it was oh so wrong, so we would hop up on the side of the pool, where the brick edge was, then casually look up at the sky....pretty sky...la la la la la....all the while pretending we were enjoying the sun and all of God's creation, when in fact, we were getting things over with quickly. Sometimes, though, even that took too much time, so as we played mermaids in the water, we did what mermaids do in the water. uh huh, we did. Doing so was risky. Yep, grown ups, who'd peed in the pool themselves when young, knew all the mermaid/brick tricks, so told us kids that they put a "special" chlorine in the pool that caused a yellow trail to follow you if you did the mermaid thing in the pool. We believed them.....and peed in the pool anyway. Ah....sweet memories. :)
Oh, and this -- I cannot say the "K" word, 'cuz I'm too scared to. I don't have a plan for what might happen to me if I say that word. But. I do have a plan if one big (K) or little (k) shows up -- scream, have a heart attack, go to heaven. Or maybe, have a heart attack first and scream on my way to heaven. Yeah, that's my big plan.
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