sick of goodbye

So its May now, and there are a lot of good things about May...the flowers, the weather for the most part, and the anticipation of weeks at the beach. But this year, May has symbolized the ending of a lot of things. Most significantly, The Man and I had our last Sunday at the church where we have spent all our married days. And, though we will remain in the same house and the same town, this job change is a big one....because it hasn't been "just a job", but a home. And I will miss them. To add to the sadness, the very church we are heading to is the same one my sister and her family are preparing to leave...as they are moving from here (where they have lived the past 5 years) to Charlotte.

Those are the socially acceptable sad goodbyes. But somehow this week, the day after the season finales of American Idol and Lost, I found myself short tempered and weepy. And I felt the same way after watching The Office finale and after the Gilmore Girls series finale party. (That one brought tears during the show itself.) What does that say about me that the sadness of my sister moving away doesn't hit until my favorite show takes a break for the summer?

just a kid

He'll be 1 in a month. His first year of potentially so many. I had a birthday last month. A fairly significant one, I think. People who, a few weeks before seemed so much older are now suddenly "my age". I like being 30 so far...more than I thought I would. I know technically it isn't really that much different from 29, but somehow, it feels different. I've been telling the girls in the high school small group I lead that once you turn 18, you sort of feel 18 forever. I know I do, on the inside anyway. Sometimes I look at my 3 kids and my house and my husband and I sort of giggle to myself and think "Don't people know? How could they let me bring these babies home from the hospital? I'm just a kid!" But I'm not just a kid. And sometimes that is sad to realize, but mostly lately, I'm thankful for these 30 years that I wear on my face and speak in my words. I feel a bit more real and more secure. One thing I've learned for sure is I sure have a lot to learn.